Staying at the beach house is by no means as bad as it could have been. Admittedly I'm spending even more time 'on call', in the main house and with the children, but the presence of the relatives and a jet-ski per person has created an easygoing, holiday atmosphere. I'm told to postpone my lessons on an almost daily basis, and when they do take place the experience is, like so much else, amusingly farcical. Yesterday I gave a half hour lesson on key stage three chemistry while being driven around the estate in the family's pink golf cart. Their son had lost his blackberry while driving around the estate on his mini motorcycle, and the search couldn't wait until after we had studied. How much of the lesson went in I can't say.

I spend the rest of the day reading, figuring the least I can do as a tutor is put on an appearance of studiousness. I can relax, but not too hard; if they caught me in a hammock they'd probably think I was taking the piss a bit, but I think I can get away with a deck chair or even a sun lounger at a push. I've also managed to have a drink for the first time since I arrived. The Saudi alcohol laws don't prevent my hosts from being reasonably big drinkers (nor do the homosexuality laws stop them from being huge Elton John fans), and one of the kitchen staff gave me the remains of a bottle of wine on the first night I arrived. I drank about half of it watching BBC world service TV, then wandered to bed and slept soundly for twelve hours.

After almost a month here, the teaching could be going better. I've been subjected to tantrums, insults and physical abuse, all of which I told myself would pass with time and persistence. The 'friend first, teacher second' role expected of me is incredibly difficult to negotiate, as to these children any teacher is an enemy. This said, they don't seem to totally despise their arabic tutor, so the other day I asked his advice on how to make them work. He recommended a kind of method-teaching, telling me that before I could teach a child I needed to become a child, and that I was far too serious. To illustrate this point he picked up a couple of my folders and did an impression of me, being far too serious, holding my folders too tightly to my side. Galling as this was, he probably has a point; my refusal to indulge the children's brattish tendencies hasn't gotten me that far, and the idea that they might work diligently and respect their tutor increasingly seems over optimistic. Perhaps the best I can hope for is that I can shoehorn some English into an Xbox session, or try to talk about coastal erosion over the noise of the speedboat engine.

Finally, I've made a new set. It's no secret that I love Luke Vibert, and often when I'm trying to put together a mix I find there are too many of his tracks I want to use and there's not enough room for anyone else. Here I've overcome this problem by only using tracks and remixes made by the man himself, under his own name and his various aliases.

Vibert megamix by Identikit

1. Wagon Christ - Ataride

2. Luke Vibert - Track 5

3. Jean-Jacques Perrey and Luke Vibert - Analog Generique

4. DJ Mink - Hey! Hey! Can U relate? (Luke Vibert remix)

5. Falty DL - Human Meadows (Luke Vibert remix)

6. Wagon Christ - Musical Box

7. Luke Vibert - Meatabix

8. The Ace of Clubs - Classid One

9. Wagon Christ - Sci Fi staircase

10. Luke Vibert - Presidential Acid

11. Luke Vibert - Come on Chaos

12. Luke Vibert - Chicago, Detroit, Redruth

13. Luke Vibert - Countdown

14. Kerrier District - Yesco

'Megamix' might be a slightly grandiose term given that this barely even scratches the surface of his work - he's released at least 33 EPs and 21 albums since 1993, as well as countless remixes and one offs. This mix focuses on his acid house tracks, but I could have just as easily created an hour of hip-hop, disco, breakbeat or jungle with his ridiculously large discography.

On Friday I'll be moving back to the hotel, and on Sunday my employers are going on holiday for ten days, leaving the staff (myself included) in charge of the children. I'm not confident that my already weak authority will hold up in the absence of parental reinforcements, but equally I'm not sure I'll try that hard if there's no one to monitor my efforts.